I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
