We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So many bounce houses so little time
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
