Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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