The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
