Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
