if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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