You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
