I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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