I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
3pm strippers are depressing
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
