would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
