found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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