you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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