Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
