We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
