I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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