maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
