I bet he comes in French.
Someone shit on the floor
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
