I must be too annoying 4 u.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
