...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
