That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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