dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
