we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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