She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He shit in the fireplace
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
