Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
