Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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