He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
