Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
