so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
