I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
