THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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