He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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