That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
