mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
not ubering you a puppy
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
