i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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