I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
