I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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