And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
