U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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