All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
