You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
