things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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