thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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