the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
