You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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