remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
