you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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