her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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There's always time for handjobs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.