Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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