So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?