i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
