Buhtt sex?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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