Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
