welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
