Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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