it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??