Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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(970): I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious. http://tfl.nu/cwzo

Replies (21) Good night (856) Bad night (4643)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(908): Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too. http://tfl.nu/4y2n

Replies (16) Good night (989) Bad night (3562)
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(319): View more from Iowa

The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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(319): The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue http://tfl.nu/hmo2

Replies (23) Good night (8316) Bad night (859)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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(410): Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!! http://tfl.nu/gjd6

Replies (8) Good night (4774) Bad night (945)
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(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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(269): im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower http://tfl.nu/s38n

Replies (15) Good night (3164) Bad night (823)
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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e

Replies (26) Good night (1446) Bad night (4839)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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(479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh

Replies (8) Good night (4026) Bad night (1014)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night

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(785): Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night http://tfl.nu/utdq

Replies (1) Good night (2315) Bad night (909)
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(440): View more from Ohio

somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

(310): View more from California

maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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(440): somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me (310): maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA http://tfl.nu/mrhy

Replies (1) Good night (2049) Bad night (812)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."

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(215): i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight." http://tfl.nu/7mfw

Replies (23) Good night (2300) Bad night (1353)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.

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(847): Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations. http://tfl.nu/g9dw

Replies (1) Good night (936) Bad night (461)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

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(610): I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/8cn6

Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (891)
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(407): View more from Florida

Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.

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(407): Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it. http://tfl.nu/49t8

Replies (0) Good night (799) Bad night (347)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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(801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum

Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (317)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

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(501): Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date. http://tfl.nu/kb0j

Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (606)

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