i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.