We're facebook friends in real life
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.