Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
