I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
