I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
