I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
