You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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