it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
