All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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