The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
