That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
