Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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