forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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